I'm generally not a huge 'blogger' fan. I don't read them much, even my wifes, and I never thought I'd bother writing one. That is until I experienced a traumatizing event this morning that I somehow feel the need to express and get on paper or screen or whatever to hopefully somehow maybe possibly excise it from memory. So here goes.
Some friends of my wife had been staying with us last week, and were flying out this morning. I got up at about 5:30 to take them to the airport, and after our guest finished in the bathroom I went in and started the shower. I stepped in to the shower with my right foot which promtly skidded forward 3 inches, nearly sending me to the floor. I looked down, and 'what the fuh...' my foot is standing in a big, green and yellow disgusting pile of hork. Thats nasaly phlegmy spit and snot for those of you that don't know what hork is. It had been there for a few minutes and wouldn't simply be washed down the drain by spraying a little water at it, so I then had to manually scrub the shower floor with my goober covered foot to get it down the drain.
My wife starts gagging if she even sees someone else spit, and I generally make fun of her for it, but I came pretty close to throwing up in the shower this morning.
So that's the traumatic experience that got me to start a blog. I can't get the picture out of my mind, or the slimy feeling against my foot out of my memory. It still haunts me. No amount of scrubbing can make be feel clean. Maybe bleach and some sandpaper would work. How many layers of skin can you take off before you scar? What diseases can be passed by hork to skin contact? I think I'm going to have sponge baths in the sink for a while.
8 comments:
Well now at least you can identify with how I feel every night when you brush your teeth!
Welcome to the blogosphere!
Gross story.
I like your link, 'The Wife.'
I don't.
There, I changed it to wifey. Hope you apreciate it.
I have to say that I quite appreciate you coming over to the blogger world (your wife corrupted me long ago) and I wish that you would bless us with more of your Billy D rants and raves in the future. I'm sure there are many more 6am surprises hidden under the surface, just waiting to be unleashed.
I think you have a knack for this blogging thing. You must have more really "wrong" stories to share with the world.
I am so sending this story to Doug! You should be thankful it was your foot! You can always remember Doug's backcountry outhouse story if it makes you feel better.....
That is so gross, I imagine jamie won't even go near the bathroom now.
PS. thanks for making me gag to the extent that I can no longer the apple crisp that is waiting for me in the oven.
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